Sean Ingle
Wednesday April 4, 2007
Guardian Unlimited
Preamble Good afternoon everyone. So far the Super Eights have had fewer surprises than a James Blunt greatest hits album: the crowds have stayed away, every favourite has won, the early ebullience of Bangladesh and Ireland wilted in the white heat of competition. But England could change all that today. If they can beat Sri Lanka - and they will almost certainly need to win two from three from their forthcoming games against Australia, South Africa and Sri Lanka to reach the semis - then this tournament could yet come alive.
The toss: Michael Vaughan flicks, Jayawardene calls heads. The England captain's coin rolls (and rolls and rolls), before finally landing tails up. Vaughan smiles before announcing that England will bowl, which seems to make sense: this wicket looks hard and fast.
Teams England: Joyce, Vaughan (c), Bell, Pietersen, Collingwood, Flintoff, Nixon (wk), Bopara, Mahmood, Anderson, Panesar. Sri Lanka: Tharanga, Jayasuriya, Jayawardene (c), Sangakkara (wk), Silva, Dilshan, Arnold, Maharoof, Vaas, Malinga, Muralitharan.
Early thoughts The mood is grim. I've already received over 100 emails, most of which are predicting an England defeat. "We will lose today, and this will hopefully be another nail in the coffin lid of the Fletcher era," says Lee Calvert. "Thanks for the Ashes, Dunc, but your pig-headed intransigence is getting very tiresome; nearly as tiresome as every one-day game England play at present." And he's one of my more optimistic correspondents.
Latest odds: England 15-8, Sri Lanka 1-2. At those prices, I'm tempted by England, but don't listen to me: I'm zero out of six in my cricket World Cup bets so far. Meanwhile Alex Robertson is an angry young man. "It's just so depressing," he sulks, probably whilst sitting alone in his bedroom. "I'm nervously awaiting the game to start, and hoping we win, but the voices in my head tell me it's going to be a shellacking. And then you make it worse by mentioning that tool, Blunt. Couldn't you put in some cheery musical references to say... the Joy Division?"
Here we go ... As England enter their US-style huddle, the Sri Lankan openers walk out to the sort of applause that wouldn't be out of place at a county game. This stadium is at least three-quarters empty. "I'm at a loss to understand why that Irishman is opening the batting again," fumes Rob Philipson. "Andrew Strauss tends towards turning it on a bit as the quality of opposition improves, whereas I'll eat my hat if Mr Ed gallops to more than a dozen runs. It's an extravagant, Lincolnesque stovepipe number and I do not make the promise idly, believe you me!" Where are the men in white coats when you need them?
1st over: Sri Lanka 0-0 (Tharanga 0, Jayasuriya 0) This wicket looks like it's made of crazy paving, but on commentary Ian Botham says it's not as bad as it looks. Still, it's certainly a great first over from James Anderson: there's lots of movement and he deservedly picks up a maiden. Meanwhile, more moans from the obosphere. "Has Plunkett been dropped for the rest of the tournament for the earlier drinking exploits?" asks Kevin Wilson. "Seems a bit odd that he's been left out after a decent run of form, especially as Mahmood is abysmal in this format. It must be disciplinary reasons. Why has he been singled out?" I think Vaughan doesn't fancy Plunkett, which is slightly odd seeing as he played so well in the Commonwealth Bank series. But this wicket looks like it should help Mahmood.
2nd over: Sri Lanka 4-0 (Tharanga 0, Jayasuriya 4) What was I saying? Mahmood's first ball drifts on to Jayasuirya's leg and is helped on its way to the fine leg boundary by Jayasuriya. Five dot balls follow however. "We have sent through some Jaffa Cakes for attention of the Guardian OBO team to help keep you energized for a strenuous afternoon's reporting - kind of like the OBO version of TMS Dundee Cake if you like," says Robin Smith. "Hope they have arrived with you safely. Did you know Jaffa Cakes are supporting our World Cup bid as the official energy snack to the England Cricket Team? It would be great if you could give us a shameless plug on the OBO in return." No sign of the cakes, Robin - and you've fallen a long way since facing Merv Hughes, haven't you?
3rd over: Sri Lanka 6-0 (Tharanga 2, Jayasuriya 4) Huge, huge shout from Anderson and Nixon who are convinced Tharanga nicked one behind. Listen to their harmonic bellow! Umpire Bowden is unmoved, however, and rightly so: replays show it flicked Tharanga's upper thigh. Still, not a bad start for England. Meanwhile the Duncan Fletcher fan club is out in force. "It's hardly Fletcher's fault that the best one day opening batsman in the country are still Knight (who has quit) and Trescothick (who probably should quit) is it?" says Andrew Goldsby. "Or that Harmison's lost interest again and Jones' body is so fragile."
4th over: Sri Lanka 15-0 (Tharanga 3, Jayasuriya 11) Shot from Jayasuriya! Mahmood serves up a half-volley and Jayasuriya gives it the meat treatment. He then picks up three more with little more than a jab. Jeez this outfield is quick. "We're going to win and here's why," says Andy Walker. "Winning will fan the dying embers of hope in all of us rather than defeat extinguishing them for good. Then, freshly burdened with hope, the Aussies will take us to the cleaners at the weekend and it will be doubly painful."
5th over: Sri Lanka 19-0 (Tharanga 7, Jayasuriya 11) More good stuff from Anderson, including an absolute beauty that invites Tharanga for dinner before leaving him in the lurch. Four off the over. Meanwhile your tortured Joy Division puns are flooding in. "Like Alex Robertson I'm concerned about today's fixture," says Simon Hudd. "I'm fearful that in a high-scoring game, the absence of Loye will tear us apart". While Gary Ford asks: "are we all expecting an 'Atrocity Exhibition' from England?" Oh dear.
6th over: Sri Lanka 21-0 (Tharanga 7, Jayasuriya 12) Much, much better from Mahmood, including a snorter that startles Jayasuriya before brushing his shoulder. Two balls later, Jayasuriya is again on the backfoot, fretfully fending off another short one. Incidentally, the Sky TV cameras have just focused on an extremely sunburnt Robin Smith (the real one) who is apparently on "the cruise ship circuit", whatever that means. "Re: 'But this wicket looks like it should help Mahmood.' Every bleeding wicket looks like it should help Mahmood!" cries Matthew Franklin. "The guy could be bowling on a Vietnamese hot landing site and he still couldn't get a man out."
7th over: Sri Lanka 30-0 (Tharanga 7, Jayasuriya 21) Jayasuriya goes aerial! Mahmood should stop the boundary but he can't be bothered to really bend down and it goes for four. Three balls later, Jayasuriya brushes another boundary through fine leg. "I can't believe what a brownnose Robin Smith is (over 2)!" says Oliver Gardiner. "Is this what it takes to get printed on OBO these days - leaving an apple for teacher? Does Gary Naylor have a selection box delivered every day? PS hope you enjoyed the cheese scones I sent."
WICKET! 8th over: Jayasuriya b Mahmood 25 (Sri Lanka 37-1) Mahmood strikes! Earlier in the over he was top edged for six, but he retorted with two fullish deliveries, the second of which sneaked through Jayasuriya's guard. "The way Joyce, Vaughan and Bell are playing, England could do with a New Order," chuckles Gary Naylor, who goes on to predict an England win. "England have lost just one of their last seven or eight ODIs. The Lankans are a fine team, but they would take KP, Colly, Flintoff, Anderson and maybe Monty from England had they the choice. If three of these five play really well and the other eight players bat and field positively and bowl defensively, we've a decent chance."
9th over: Sri Lanka 41-1 (Tharanga 11, Sangakarra 0) More good stuff from Anderson - who, like the temperature in a hot week in July, is consistently hitting the mid-80s - but Tharanga keeps the scoreboard ticking. "This game has raise hopes and shatter written all over it," says Phil Godwin. "England will bowl OK, SL will get 260, England will get a decent start, I'll leave work, get home, switch on the TV an hour or so later, only to find Nixon and Mahmood at the crease."
10th over: Sri Lanka 44-1 (Tharanga 14, Sangakarra 3) Mahmood now has a Travoltaesque strut to his bowling right - after Jayasuriya's wicket he now has the confidence to bowl slower deliveries, yorkers, the lot. An impressive over, just three singles from it. "Is it true that Upal Tharanga's dyslexic dad wanted to name his son after a Beatle?" chuckles Kieran Blackburn, raising the quality control somewhat.
11th over: Sri Lanka 47-1 (Tharanga 15, Sangakarra 5) It's as you were: England take the power play, and Anderson continues to probe and tease. Three off the over. "Re: 'Did you know Jaffa Cakes are supporting our World Cup bid as the official energy snack to the England Cricket Team? (over two). It sounds like a joke, but it makes sense if you think about it," says Richard Marsden. "England's batting comprises also a soft, crumbly layer on top that's only there because no one can think of anything better to replace it with, a very thin layer of the sweet stuff and, in Paul Collingwood, a satisfying nugget of orange in the middle."
12th over: Sri Lanka 48-1 (Tharanga 15, Sangakarra 5) To a few Red Stripe cheers, Flintoff replaces Mahmood. Freddie still looks a stone overweight to me, a bit like Ian Botham circa 1982-83 before he decided let it all hang out, but it's a decent first over. Just one run from it - a no ball. Meanwhile your emails continue to thud into my inbox. "Gary Naylor must have his collar buttoned up a bit too tight," says Andy Kelly. "Sri Lanka would rather have Anderson than Vass or Malinga? Monty rather than Murali? Flintoff or Collingwood instead of any of their top/middle/lower order? They're one of the best one day sides, and I think they'd prefer to stay that way."
13th over: Sri Lanka 50-1 (Tharanga 17, Sangakarra 5) More good stuff from Anderson, just two off the over. No wonder Nixon and Vaughan are yapping away like ladies in a nightclub toilet. Meanwhile Big Paper's chief cricket correspondent Mike Selvey writes in. "Let me explain the pitch. They are preparing them here as they once did at Sabina Park where, for a final flourish, they would wet the essentially clay surface and then buff it to a mirror finish by spinning the light roller on it. You could see reflections in it. For this tournament, however, they are wetting the surface, putting on a plastic sheet and then just rolling it. The effect today looks like and is a little like pulling some clingfilm off new toffee, or something."
14th over: Sri Lanka 56-1 (Tharanga 17, Sangakarra 10) A boundary - Sri Lanka's first for 38 deliveries - comes after Flintoff overpitches slightly and Sangakarra drives him down the ground. "This is going better than I hoped," says Ben Shepherd. "But Sri Lanka have still got a decent start. Remember they were 50 for 2 after 15 overs in their last match and still got over 300." That's the spirit, Ben.
15th over: Sri Lanka 60-1 (Tharanga 19, Sangakarra 11) Anderson continues to toil and trouble. "Er, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'd always presumed the crumbly bit to be the bottom of the Jaffa cake, with the chocolate on top?" asks Paul Hass-Curievici. "The veneer of class offered by Vaughan, likely to melt in the West Indian sun, supported by a sweet middle order and not much else. I need to get a job." I wouldn't know Paul, there's still no sign of our jaffa cakes.
16th over: Sri Lanka 66-1 (Tharanga 20, Sangakarra 16) Sangakarra hits the sort of shot that schoolboys dream about - or least they did during the 1950s - as he steers a front-foot drive past mid off for four. That's drinks. Meanwhile Matt Fairweather reckons that "According to Jonathan Agnew many of the England fans at the cricket have 'brought their trannies with them to the ground'. Does this mean that as well as a Barmy Army we have a Bra-my Army?" Very droll, Matt.
17th over: Sri Lanka 68-1 (Tharanga 21, Sangakarra 16) Mahmood returns and he, like the recent Public Sector Pay Review, is surprisingly thrifty: just two off the over, one of which was a leg bye, and his figures are now 6-0-26-1. "Re: Robin Smith and the 'cruise ship circuit' (over six) - I was fortunate enough to enjoy an evening in Sydney aboard one such ship during the fifth Test with Messrs AJ Lamb and DK Lillee for company," says Andrew White. "Needless to say, it's a great opportunity for ex-players to turn up, spin a few yarns about their playing days to an adoring audience, while at the same time getting thoroughly lashed. Are you sure Mr Smith's bright red nose is sunburn rather than the result of a few too many glasses of Shiraz?"
18th over: Sri Lanka 69-1 (Tharanga 21, Sangakarra 17) This is really good stuff from England: they're bowling tight line and length and applying the squeeze. All they need now is a couple of wickets. Still, the run rate is under four. "In reply to Mr Kelly, it is too easy to dismiss England's outstanding players (well it was in the Ashes - honk!)," says - yes, you've guessed it - Gary Naylor. "What I mean by saying that the Lankans would take four or five England players is that Anderson is a better bowler than Maharoof, Flintoff and Colly better all-rounders than Dilshan and Arnold and KP a better batter than Silva. Monty wouldn't displace Murali of course, but he might be an option. There's a gap between the teams not a chasm."
WICKET! Sangakakkara c Collingwood b Mahmood 17 (Sri Lanka 69-2) The Guardian's Saj Mahmood strikes! It was an widish, overpitched slower ball, but Sangakkara didn't pick it quickly enough, overstretched, and ended up lobbing it to Collingwood at point. Game on! "Please explain the Upal Tharanga's dyslexic dad joke," says Jonathan Howard. "The whole of my office is confused! It cant just be that Upal is an anagram of Paul...surely?" Afraid so, Jonathan.
19th over: Sri Lanka 75-2 (Tharanga 22, Jayawardene 5) Jayawardene immediately signals his intent. "Ben Shepherd (over 14) may think that this is a good thing, but according to a Sri Lankan friend their batting is 'like making love to a beautiful woman...you need to build up slowly'," says Anton Lawrence. "He hasn't told me what happens next."
20th over: Sri Lanka 80-2 (Tharanga 23, Jayawardene 7) A superb pick-up and throw from Bopara at gully saves a single and earns booming approval from Nixon. Next ball, however, Jayawardene clips another couple. "I know I shouldn't be looking, but the geniuses at Cricinfo have vowed to shave their hair off if Vaughany gets a ton today," says Julian Longhurst. "What will GU's (frankly superior) wordsmiths do to top that?" What about Smyth running naked down Oxford Street after the second Ashes Test debacle?
21st over: Sri Lanka 84-2 (Tharanga 24, Jayawardene 10) Collingwood replaces Mahmood and, as usual, his medium pacers prove difficult to get away. "Upal Tharanga's dad wasn't dyslexic, he just read Paul's name in the Grauniad!" laughs Tony Adlam.
22nd over: Sri Lanka 87-2 (Tharanga 25, Jayawardene 11) Tharanga continues to make Jacques Kallis look like the second coming of Viv Richards: his 25 runs have come off 58 deliveries, a rate that even Ian Bell might blush at. Just three off Flintoff's over and Sri Lanka have now gone 41 balls without a boundary. "Actually, I think England's batting is like making love to a beautiful woman - that is to say, putting on the protective equipment lasts longer than the event itself," claims John Sanger.
23rd over: Sri Lanka 92-2 (Tharanga 25, Jayawardene 16) A perfectly timed shot from Jayawardene dissects the field and tumbles over the boundary rope. Five off Collingwood's over. "Is cricket really like making love to a beautiful woman?" asks Lewis Cooper, before answering his own question. "Well, I suppose you take your turn in the centre, you need to wave the wood about a bit, you can play it hard and straight or with soft hands... and sometimes you get to do it day/night too."
24th over: Sri Lanka 95-2 (Tharanga 25, Jayawardene 19) Monty comes on for Mahmood and is soon tempting and teasing the Sri Lankan batsman and hurrying me off my (key)stroke. Ah! Three off the over. "I am sitting at my desk in Calcutta where, I can assure you my mood is even grimmer than anything you chaps in the UK can muster," says Patrick Pringle. "I woke up this morning to a 42 degree Celsius morning, only to find out I'd drunkenly lost my mobile phone. Went to the shower to find my water was cut off, put my shirt on, only to realise that my manly can of Axe deodorant was empty. Can anyone beat that?" Well?
25th over: Sri Lanka 103-2 (Tharanga 27, Jayawardene 25) At last, the Sri Lankans are beginning to put their foot on the accelerator. I say Sri Lanka, but I mean Jayawardene, who scored seven of the eight off Collingwood's over. Speaking of which, this from Stuart Bowman. "Now I like Collingwood, makes the most of what he's got and one of the few English players to have the guts necessary at this level. But 116 games, 61 wickets at 37 and goes at five-an-over on average. Where did the idea come from that he's a front line one-day bowler?" I don't think anyone is saying he's that Stuart. But on these pitches, having a dobber is no bad thing - as New Zealand are continuing to prove.
26th over: Sri Lanka 106-2 (Tharanga 29, Jayawardene 27) Three off Monty's over. "We are reading an over-by-over report. What do any of us really know about making love to a beautiful woman?" asks Gerard Duignan, not unreasonably.
27th over: Sri Lanka 110-2 (Tharanga 31, Jayawardene 29) More spin for England, this time from Vaughan. It's a decent first over, although there's none of the outrageous turn he got when dismissing Tendulkar through the gate in 2003. "Reading the OBO after a long time away from it is like making love to an ex," says Philip Smith. "It feels wrong to start with but then you get to Naylor and it all makes sense again."
28th over: Sri Lanka 119-2 (Tharanga 38, Jayawardene 31) Big appeal for a run out by Nixon! Umpire Bowden calls for the third umpire, but replays show that Tharanaga was in by a country mile. Nine off the over. Meanwhile, more of your cricket/making love analogies. "In Sting's case, it goes on for five days with no result," reckons David Bale.
29th over: Sri Lanka 124-2 (Tharanga 39, Jayawardene 35) England have to be a careful here: they've really well to stifle the Sri Lankans over the last 10 overs or so, but the run rate is beginning to accelerate again. "How dare Patrick Pringle (over 24) complain about being in Calcutta," says Ian Wilson. "Some of us are in bloody Northampton. Christ!"
30th over: Sri Lanka 132-2 (Tharanga 45, Jayawardene 37) Tharanga skips down the pitch with enthusiasm of a new lamb in spring before clouting Monty through long on. Incredibly, that's his first boundary of the day. Two balls later, Jayawardene tries to repeat the trick, mistimes it, and should have been caught by Anderson in the deep ... only he didn't pick it up and allowed it to drop a few metres in front of him. "Can someone tell me the point of Bopara?" asks George Storrow. "He gets two overs and bats behind Nixon. We might as well play Strauss or Lewis!"
31st over: Sri Lanka 136-2 (Tharanga 47, Jayawardene 39) Vaughan's bowling continues to be efficient but unthreatening, like a home counties accountant. Four singles off the over and this partnership is now 67 off 78 balls. "Actually, England's performances are like making love to a fetishist," suggests Ed Collington. "Likely to involve a spanking."
32nd over: Sri Lanka 140-2 (Tharanga 48, Jayawardene 42) The expensive Monty (4-0-21-0) is replaced by Collingwood. Four off the over. "Patrick Pringle is obviously an Englishman abroad - even in a beautiful, hot and exotic city like Calcutta he still seems to find plenty to moan about," fumes Tom Newman. "It's almost as bad as that Mother Theresa. Cheer up for God's sake!"
33rd over: Sri Lanka 149-2 (Tharanga 52, Jayawardene 47) Monty returns but to little effect: Tharanga soon brings up his 50 (off 90 balls, including one four) with a quiet dink around the corner for two. Another single follows, and then Jayawardene sweeps an impressive boundary through backward point. For a while Sri Lanka have been threatening their spring offensive: now it looks like it's arrived. Nine off the over. "I was under the impression you recently got married," says Darren Brimer. "If this is the case you need to very quickly refute Gerard Duigan's point (over 26), or you could be in the doghouse with Ms Seanie, especially if she reads this." Too late, Darren. Too late.
34th over: Sri Lanka 156-2 (Tharanga 57, Jayawardene 48) The runs continue to flow like the Nile in rainy season. "Oh dear. Anyone else just realised that there two-week holiday in Barbados to watch the end of the Super Sixes will involve watching Bangladesh, Ireland, West Indies and England?" asks Richard Gomersall. "All of which will be knocked out by the time we get there? Anyone for tennis?"
WICKET! Tharanga c Collingwood b Flintoff (Sri Lanka 160-3) Tharanga might have dawdled for first 30 overs, but he's flying now. He's just splayed Flintoff to the boundary ... and no sooner do I type that than he skies a hook to Pietersen at midwicket. "I think my day would count as worse than Patrick's," says OBO regular Claire Davies. "Just lost my job." Ah
35th over: Sri Lanka 160-3 (Jayawardene 48, Silva 0) A big lbw appeal from Flintoff, first ball to Silva, but it was missing leg. "Cricket is like making love to a beautiful woman? Erm, something about stroking it through the cover," suggests Nick Pettigrew. "Look, it's nearly five o clock and I'm tired, OK?"
36th over: Sri Lanka 164-3 (Jayawardene 50, Silva 0) Jayawardene brings up his 37th ODI fifty (and his third against England) off 51 balls in an otherwise uneventful - and, yes, that is OBO code for I missed most of it - with a push through the covers. "I'm amazed that in a link involving making love to a beautiful woman and England at cricket, no one has mentioned the inevitable collapse," says Chris Brock.
37th over: Sri Lanka 166-3 (Jayawardene 51, Silva 1) A scoop of sorts from an impeccable OBO source: Stuart Broad is flying out on Friday to replace Jon Lewis, who is about to become a father. The question is, should Broad go straight into the team against Australia? Thoughts please. Meanwhile Flintoff nearly dismisses Silva with a textbook outswinger. Just two off the over.
38th over: Sri Lanka 166-3 (Jayawardene 52, Silva 4) Better from Monty, whose figures are now 7-0-37-0, just four off the over. "Commiseration to Claire Davies (over 34)," says Nicholas Grundy (and others). "On the upside, at least she'll now have more time to contribute to the OBO. Not that she particularly, er, needs it. Maybe someone out there can find her a job? Perhaps delivering foul-but-moreish Relentless?"
WICKET! Jayawardene c Joyce b Collingwood 56 (Sri Lanka 175-4) Collingwood strikes! Jayawardene goes for glory and gets caught in the deep by Joyce. "I don't want to seem unsympathetic, but can OBO regular Claire Davies losing her job three weeks into the ICC Cricket World Cup 2007 really be a coincidence?" asks David Spencer.
39th over: Sri Lanka 175-4 (Silva 9, Dilshan 0) Dilshan swings and misses, then blocks, and that's over. "Can I point out that Tharanga's name is actually Upul, not Upal," says Jivaka Jayasundera. "Watch out dyslexics!"
40th over: Sri Lanka 183-4 (Silva 12, Dilshan 5) Eight off the over. "Can we really replace players who just pull out because they're going to become dads?" asks the unreconstructed Jonathan Wood. "Wouldn't the ICC not unreasonably point out that England knew about this when they picked him? Where does it end? Plunkett remembering he left the oven on?"
41st over: Sri Lanka 183-4 (Silva 13, Dilshan 5) Absolutely superb stuff from Collingwood, who outwiles the Sri Lankans with his Revels-mix of off-cutters, dobbers and slower deliveries. Just one off the over. Meanwhile the job offers for Claire Davies are trickling in. "I have a vacancy in Refresh-button pressing which I need filled," says Alistair Hann. "The role would also involve projected total calculations and screen minimising."
42nd over: Sri Lanka 193-4 (Silva 18, Dilshan 5) Oh Saj! He starts the over by nearly dismissing Silva, whose edge fell just short of Nixon, but then serves up a juicy full toss outside leg which Silva helps on his way for four. The rest of the over was better, but eight came from it in total. "I'm excited!" says Paul Howarth. "Stuart Broad is my favourite hobby horse (and, no, this is nothing to do with the previous love-making riff). He will be our Glenn McGrath." If he plays.
WICKET! Dilshan run out 5 (Sri Lanka 193-5) Brilliant from Bell, who makes a diving stop at mid off, turns and - with one stump to aim at - runs Dilshan out. "Nice to see Paul 'Positivity' Nixon bellow 'fucking hell' when Monty daintily wafted a hand at a loose ball off his own bowling," says Guy Kilty. "Great motivational work! In his defence he did raise an apologetic hand almost immediately, but can Monty take such verbal battering or will he wilt? Still, England are actually looking quite good for once! Hurrah."
43rd over: Sri Lanka 196-5 (Silva 20, Arnold 1) Three off the rest of Anderson's over."'Screen minimising?' Wrong decade there, Alastair old boy," says Neil Taylor. "The joys of ALT + TAB is the weapon of choice for switching back to a work screen when the boss is on the prowl."
44th over: Sri Lanka 200-5 (Silva 20, Arnold 5) Arnold brings the 200 up with a sprightly paddle around the corner, but otherwise Collingwood continues to strangle. Three off the over, and his figures are now a very healthy 8-0-37-1. "It's no good Jon Lewis pulling out now," says the prolific Gary Naylor. "He should have thought of that nine months ago."
45th over: Sri Lanka 208-5 (Silva 20, Arnold 13) Oh dear. Arnold hits a lovely cover drive that Anderson misses with his foot and then Bopara, arms outstretched like Superman, sees bounce over him on the boundary. "Can we make any inferences now about how Tharanga at least makes love to a beautiful woman?" asks Shane McHugh. "I'd guess he spends an hour hovering unproductively at the crease, then ham [SNIP ... OBO decency police]. The comparison falls down when you consider that in bed you don't have Paul Nixon crouched behind you, criticising your technique. Not usually anyway."
46th over: Sri Lanka 215-5 (Silva 23, Arnold 15) Collingwood continues to keep dib and dob and keep it relatively tight - seven off the over, including a bye off Nixon. These are four hugely important overs for England's World Cup chances here. Anything under 240, and they'll fancy their chances. Anything above 255 will be a tough get. "All screen minimizing and alt-tabbing do is allow you and the boss to pretend you've been working," says Adam Blackwell. "No one is really fooled. The better approach is just to leave the OBO up. That way your boss will think 'Well, he obviously doesn't do this much, or he'd be trying to hide it.' Or he may fire you. Either way, your dignity is intact."
WICKET! Silva b Flintoff 23 (Sri Lanka 215-6) Flintoff strikes with a zinger of a reverse yorker that beats the bat and rips out the stumps. "Stuart Broad - I've read an awful lot about him but what has he actually DONE?" says Jonathan Harwood. "Seems he has a bowling average of 30, batting average of 16. Why not call on Simon Jones?" Er, because he's played one game in nine months and yesterday admitted he wouldn't be ready for the first Test against the Windies which starts in the middle of May?
47th over: WICKET! Vaas c Collingwood b Flintoff 4 (Sri Lanka 219-7) Vaas strides in, hits successive twos, and then is dismissed by a sensational one-armed catch at gully from Collingwood. Brilliant stuff!
48th over: Sri Lanka 221-7 (Arnold 16, Malinga 1) Collingwood continues to bowl brilliantly at the death: just two off the over and England are certainly on top now. "Could England have played any better?" asks Gary Naylor. "Wish I had taken that 15-8 now." Me too Gary, me too. "Hopefully, they'll just block Murali, milk the others and cruise home." It's not going to be that easy, is it?
49th over: Sri Lanka 222-7 (Arnold 16, Malinga 1) Now Malinga nearly goes to Freddie's inswinger yorker. Lucky for the Sri Lanka, it missed both bat and leg stump. Flintoff finishes with figures of 10-0-35-3. Meanwhile more from the Stuart Broad fan club. "He's bowled his county to a trophy, which is more than can be said for Plunks or Saj, and was the least expensive bowler in last year's Disco Cricket competition (or Twenty/20 as most call it....)," points out Lee Burman. WICKET! Malinga c Nixon b Mahmood 2 (Sri Lanka 226-8) Mahmood returns and immediately gets a wicket when Malinga top-edge-loops it behind to a joyous Nixon.
WICKET! Arnold c Joyce b Mahmood 20 (Sri Lanka 231-9) Another slog, another wicket. Arnold goes calypso and is caught on the deep midwicket boundary by Joyce.
50th over: WICKET! Fernando run out 2 (Sri Lanka 235 all out) Another one goes! Fernando goes for a second that's never there and is run out by Nixon. So, advantage England. But can they take advantage? "Nevermind all this talk about minimising and tabbing," says David Brooks. "The real question is what Guy Kilty (over 42) is doing looking at the OBO when he clearly has access to a TV? It's the equivalent of going to a D-Ream concert and, rather than enjoying the breathless spectacle of true musical genius personified, sitting in the corner and listening to their greatest hits album (Vol 1) through headphones instead." Amen to that. Thanks for all your many emails, and be sure to join my colleague Andy Bull for England's innings in approximately 30 minutes.
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